被哈佛大學錄取的文書長什么樣
2023-10-20 15:26:15 來源:中國教育在線
被哈佛大學錄取的文書長什么樣,相信這個問題是許多正在準備留學的同學關心的一個問題,那么下面小編就來和大家說一說,感興趣的您趕緊往下了解吧。

以下是文書的部分內容展示:
In hazy stillness, a sudden flurry of colored skirtswhispers of“Merde!” Sternly, my fingers smoothback my hair, although they know no loose strands willbe found. My skin absorbs heat from stage lights aboveif only that heat would seep into my brain, denaturesome proteins, and deactivate the neurons stressingme out. A warm hand, accompanied by an evenwarmer smile, interrupts my frenzied solitude. I glanceup.My lovely teacher nods, coaxing my frozen lips intoa thawed smile. A complex figure, filled in with doubtyet finished with shades of confidence: My body takesits place and waits.
One, two, three, four; two, two, three, four. On stage,the lights and music wash over me. Never having had atrue ballet solo before, my lungs are one breath awayfrom hyperventilating. Trying to achieve a Zen-likestate, I imagine a field of daisies, yet my palmscontinue sweating disobediently.It’ s not that I’ venever been on stage alone before; I’ ve had plenty ofpiano recitals and competitions. Yet, while bothperformances consume my mind and soul, balletdemands complete commitment of my body.
招生官點評:通過她富有創造性的散文描述成功地喚起了讀者的真實情感,生動形象的畫面、發自內心的感受和心理活動創造了一篇優秀的文章。將Lisa的經歷比作一只被困在封閉籠子里的鳥,籠子就是我們在生活中所面臨的恐懼的隱喻。Lisa的第一部芭蕾舞獨舞被出色地詮釋為她的“掙脫”,在那一刻,她擺脫了恐懼(打開了她的籠子),并通過深刻的自我反省,選擇了接受未來的風險(只向前飛)。
在前面的內容中,Lisa她豐富的語言立即吸引了我們,因為她描繪了自己因壓力、對失敗和公眾輿論的恐懼而無法動彈,讓人同情并想了解更多。同時她的幽默感完美呈現:想要讓她的大腦神經元失活并提醒自己不要先摔倒,以免被她的母親責罵。Lisa將她可愛的老師作為她的舒適區和支持者,這是許多人可以分享的主題。她的焦慮是有相關的,她用它們來解釋她的風險規避行為。
Lean extra in this pirouette; it s more aesthetic. But isit always better to be safe than sorry? Glancing towardthe wings, I see my teacher’ s wild gesticulations:Stretch your arms out, she seems to mime, More! Agenuine smile replaces one of forced enthusiasm;alone on the stage, this is my chance to shine. I breathein the movements, forget each individual step. Morethan just imagining, but finally experiencing thejubilation of the music, I allow my splits to stretchacross the stage and my steps to extend longer andlonger, until I’ m no longer safe and my heart isracing. Exhilarated and scared in the best way, I throwmyself into my jumps. I no longer need to imaginescenes to get in the mood; the emotions are twirlingand leaping within me.
在第4-5段中:Lisa的獨奏被生動地描述為她跳舞中實現轉變的決定性時刻一一恐懼變成了激情和興奮。此刻,她微笑著擺脫恐懼。這里提出了一個尖銳的問題“但是安全總比后悔好嗎?” 通過反省,LIisa表達了她追求冒險的愿望,這將提升她的文章價值觀,并且承認并不總是能成功。
Lisa以她將在大學從事的領導角色和活動的具體例子作為結尾,招生人員對渴望走出舒適區并在大學開始新的冒險的學生通常會持正面看法,這也讓這篇文章更有說服力。這篇文章獨特的敘事形式寫得非常出色,給人一種充滿活力、有趣、深刻的體驗。Lisa的價值觀貫穿整篇文章:創造力、決心、克服障礙、自我反省、在風險中成長,還有激情!我們激勵學生擺脫這種消極情緒,繼續前進并取得更大的成就!
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